Home is like...

Home is like a cage. It is safe but it is unhappy and undesirable. If I come back home for good, I have failed. If I lose my gpa then I am sentenced home, if I don't get a job after college then I am sentenced home, if I do anything wrong I am sentenced home. If I don't get a 3.0 this semester I go home to my parents' new downsized house, next to the high school I despise, near the neighbors who talk. The only time a cage is preferable is when I am lonely; then it is like the last wood pole holding up the tree house in the backyard. But right now the thought of coming home is like a thorn in my wing, I do not want to be sentenced back to my wire cage, back to my prison, back to my home.
Home is not like the sanctuary.
It is not like the wind in the grass. Nor the first bite into a Reeces peanut butter cup. It is not like a sleeping swan or a trip to Disneyland. Home is not like the songbird nor the warmth of a blanket.

Home is not like the first bite of a Reece's peanut butter cup. It is not like the slight resistance of the hard edge of chocolate before the sinking into the soft middle. It is not like the crunch of the peanut butter combining with the smooth, silky mix of cocoa, enhancing the taste of peanut and enriching the senses. Home is not the careful process of making sure that there is enough peanut butter per chocolate. It is not the feeling of happiness and warmth that stay on the palate long after the last swallow. It is not the licking of the fingers, consuming every last particle of chocolate. And home is definitely not the comforting knowledge that there is another Reece's in the package waiting to be enjoyed.

Home might be like the wind in the grass. Wind can be peaceful and soothing- like the image of the deaf violinist in a field or in August Rush when the boy too connects to nature and hears music in the wind. It can be beautiful but it can also be terrible and frightening. Wind can whip around your house as if searching for a way inside, trying to hurt you. It can threaten to blow you away.  It can try to stop you, hinder you, push you back- keep you away from your goal. It can blind you. Wind can also be depressing. It can sound "wuthering" or like crying, desperate to be somewhere, desperate to get out.